Reflection

On the day of my birthday, the time has come, once again, for a moment of reflection on the 22 years I have breathed and lived.

My utmost gratitude for the wonderful set of parents I'm this lucky (or has it anything to do with luck?) to have. While writing this post, I'm reminded of the upcoming Father's Day on June 19. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we have Parents' Day - or Parent's Day for those single moms and dads out there - as well? But, today means nothing to my Mom and Dad. Why? Easy breezy, they don't celebrate my Gregorian birthday. Grins. Culture, people. Still, they are the best parents ever.

Ego, coming right up!

Needless to say, human thinks about themselves all the time, only on several occasions can they be outright selfish without being frowned upon, and birthday is one of those days. Thanks to the great system our ancestors have invented or rather, discovered - what with all the concepts of time and space - we celebrate birth day each year! Hell, my 22 years of flesh and blood may just be 0.0000000000001 milliseconds for some beings in the galaxy far, far away.

Today was a long day, all was spent talking with a group of great people who have been with me through thick and thin these past four years. Friends really do make your day! And well wishers from other parts of the world, reading your words and hearing your voice made me smile like an idiot.

Positivity aside, birthday is also one of the days you can't help but think about your own mortality. Argh, I am so self-conscious. Can't seem to stop talking about myself.

Really. Thanks.

Belief-o-matic

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html

So, I'm a Mahayana Buddhist first, Theravada Buddhist second. The Jainist in me ranks up high too! Neo-Pagan, New Age, and Unitarian Universalism are something I knew nothing about, but they sound cool.

Try it!

The breakdown of my belief systems:

1. Mahayana Buddhism (100%)
2. Theravada Buddhism (93%)
3. Jainism (88%)
4. Neo-Pagan (82%)
5. New Age (79%)
6. Unitarian Universalism (77%)
7. Hinduism (77%)
8. Liberal Quakers (72%)
9. Sikhism (67%)
10. Taoism (66%)

Everwood

I urge everybody who hasn't seen this excellent family drama to start watching. Set in a town amidst the breathtaking vistas of Rocky Mountains in Colorado, the show tells the story of a world-renowned surgeon who, after the death of his wife, gave up his life in New York and moved his family of two kids to Everwood. Andrew Brown (Treat Williams) was suddenly faced with the challenges of raising his two kids, which he didn't play a big part while his wife was still alive. The son, Ephram (Gregory Smith), is a smart teenage boy who quietly resents his father for the lack of attention his father paid to him and his sister before the death of their mother. The daughter, pre-teen Delia Brown (Vivien Cardone), is as sweet as you can ever hope.

As the story unfolds, we discover that the arrival of the Browns was not entirely welcomed by the only other doctor in town, Harold Abbott (Tom Amandes). The two had tensions for a while, further amplified when Harry's mother, Edna (Debra Mooney), join Andrew's free practice as his nurse. Ephram also found himself secretly harboring a crush on Harold's teenage daughter, Amy (Emily VanCamp), who still can't get over the death of her boyfriend and place the blame on his surgeon, Andrew. We were introduced to other colourful characters as well, such as Amy's brother Bright (Chris Pratt), Edna's husband and school driver Mr. Irv Harper, and Andy's friendly neighbor Nina (Stephanie Niznik).

The show was unafraid to deal with many issues, such as teenage pregnancy and abortion, sexually transmitted diseases, a husband's homosexuality, and medical marijuana. It got me hooked instantly after I watched the pilot of Season 2 on TV. Every episode has something new to offer, and it never failed to touch my heart in many ways. The cuteness factor of Gregory Smith doesn't do any harm either. Go watch!

Interesting tidbits:
Marcia Cross, the oh-so-perfect housewife from Desperate Housewives also guest stars in several episodes, playing Linda, Harold's kid sister. Linda was returning home after traveling around the world to exotic locations and using her medical skills to help people in remote villages. As a result, she is very much a carefree individual. Talk about 180-degree difference.

Brenda Strong, also from Desperate, appeared in flashback sequences as Andrew's dead wife in the beginning of Season 1, much the same as her character in Desperate.

You're minding your own business, running errands, watching people pass by, reading your old novel. The air-conditioner suddenly decided to lower its temperature to its lowest as a form of rebellion of having to work all-day long, 24/7. You put on a jacket but are still shivering, while quietly cursing the sudden change of temperature. Then it struck. The admission came not before a long hard battle with yourself. How could it be? How is this even possible?

You're sick.

It's not that you weren't warned, but you can't do anything about it. Instead, you tell youself everything will be just fine. Now see what you've done?! Please, slowly savor the outcome. The misery and the constant lump in your throat.

And here you are, telling the world of your miserable condition. For what? To elicit some heart-felt responses on how you will get well soon? Or to satisfy your own narcissistic desire of getting attention to yourself? Yes, that might seem to be the case.

P.S.: Ignore this post

It's been more than 2 weeks since my last update. Well, a few things happened within those 2 weeks, though I couldn't quite remember the details. A mini vacation with the extra dose of sunshine was on the itinerary, a 2-day project marathon, minus the sleep, a day to compensate the sleep deprivation, a meet-up with my supervisor that didn't turn out well, a few dirty and cheesy jokes with like-minded friends, and lots of heavenly street food. It was a blast.

However, we are perpetually on a quest for the better things in life. Sometimes it takes sacrifice, hard work or the lack of it, and plenty of bs-ing. There are two more important events happening in the next two weeks, I have to admit, that does worry me a bit. I am never one to take things very seriously, or to dwell too long on a certain thing or event. A passage on The Art of Happiness taught me not to worry on stuff that I can or can't control. It struck a deep cord with me for the simplicity of the truth behind it. Yet being an imperfect human being that I am, life's constant worrying occasionally lurks in and shadows your mind when you're reading or in a shower. Ah, I guess that's just how it is. For now.

Enough of the ramblings. Anyone who have seen the movie Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter,...and Spring will agree that the movie is nothing short of breathtaking. The director Kim Ki-Duk has truly surprised moviegoers by chronicling a man's life in four seasons, and in the process touched a nerve with the audience. The movie contains very little dialogue, and it doesn't really need one. The actors and the scenery speak volume of the beautiful story the director-cum-writer is trying to portray. I won't divulge the plot or anything here, let's just say Buddhism has everything to do with the movie. I cried twice during the entire length of the movie, even sob during one particularly touching scene where the older monk.... (see for yourself!). Yes, I'm not embarrassed to admit that I do cry. What are the tear ducts for? I need to see more movies like this, so I could cry more. You know, in my present life, few events had me crying anymore; I don't know if it has to do with the grim reality of life or the superficiality of it. All in all, go see the movie! Buy DVDs, VCDs, or whatever. You'll need another story like this to lift your spirits up.

8.2 Richter scale earthquake off the western coast of Sumatra

CNN -- An earthquake measuring a preliminary magnitude of 8.2 struck off the coast of Indonesia Monday -- on the same fault line that originated a December 26 earthquake that launched a deadly tsunami.

The quake occurred at 11:09 a.m. ET (1609 GMT), and is considered a "great" earthquake, the largest of seven grades.

The grades are very minor, minor, light, moderate, strong, major and great.

-----------
For the second time in just a couple of days after 3 months since the boxing day tsunami, an even stronger earthquake has occurred. The warning center reported the quake has even been measured up to 8.5 Richter scale. Authorities in the different regions affected have issued statements regarding the possibility of tsunami occurring.

Many survivors have not even recovered from the trauma they suffered, and another one struck. Blimey, if this doesn't wake us up on the importance of an tsunami warning system in place in the region, what will?

Let us hope this time it's just the earthquake.

Have I told you lately?

Have I told you lately that I love you?
Have I told you there's no one else above you?
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness,
Ease my troubles, that's what you do.

- Rod Stewart, from Have I Told You Lately

Sitting alone in my room at 2 am isn't doing much to elevate my current state of dysphoria. The stream of melancholic love songs that's been playing on my radio doesn't help either. Lately I have been thinking about stuff that is and isn't happening in my life. Ideas have been hanging around in my mind, but the lack of enthusiasm to pursue them eventually weighs me down.

Ignorance really is bliss. Things can be so ugly yet so beautiful, so beautiful yet so ugly. Try to be positive but still find consolation in being negative. The shoulds and should nots in life are things that could make or break you. I can't escape duality, is that how it's going to be down this path from now on?

It is now time to finally take a stance.

Happy Google-Doo!

A recent Google search of the word "Jesus" returns this webpage as the first result. Those guys should get credit for doing such a good job at manipulating the popular search engine's page rank technology, heh.

More on increasing your page rank here.

My dream camera

The yummy looking classic Leica M7. I am drooling all over my keyboard as I type.
Ah, everyone is allowed to indulge in some fantasies, aren't they?

At a tag of USD$2,359.99, I may have to wait 'til I'm 50, by when cameras will have become obsolete.

Charity

It seems that everywhere you walk in Singapore today, you'll be bombarded with the sight of uniform-clad schoolgirls/boys seeking your kind-hearted donations. Yes, doing charity is a commendable show of humanity. Yes, volunteering to collect charity is good. And yes, I applaud Singapore's huge amount of donations for the tsunami victims and National Kidney Foundation and so on and so forth. The people's effort -especially schools and institutions, and celebrity charity shows- really paid off, as the city-state has become one of the most active and swift donators in the world, funds-wise or volunteer-wise.

Apart from all that, in my own corner of the world, I am beginning to feel that giving your spare cents for charity has somehow turned into an obligation. [Everyone else is doing it, why aren't you?] is the vibe I'm getting more and more these days (it's just me, as you know, volunteer is the word) . I frequently find myself fending off one or two collectors every few steps I take when pacing around the ever-popular Orchard Road area. I have no objections to charity whatsoever, mind you. In fact, as I said above, I applaud the act. But one donation at a time, please. I'm struggling myself, if I keep giving to spare myself the after-guilt, I'll be broke in no time.

On second thought, what a clever idea it is! Why not spare some dollars if you're going to splurge thousands on Ferragamos and Pradas? It's all in the marketing, baby.

Please bear with me

As I experiment with different styles of how the blog page look like. Until I've set my mind on a particular design, it will continue to go on like this. Mis apologías.

UPDATE: Phew. Finally. Thanks to sonchan for providing the banner; it's anything but plain now, don't you agree? I'm crossing my fingers that there'll be fewer changes from hereon. Heh.

Ghosts and men are not that different after all

人是還沒死的鬼, 而鬼是死掉的人.
(Man is a living ghost, and ghost is a dead man)

How very true. The popular Taiwanese variety show, 我猜我猜我猜猜猜 (Guess Guess Guess) recently featured girls who look very much like ghosts in real life, which I think is an outrageous program idea. Five girls were chosen, each was questioned on how they got labeled as a ghost look-alike and their eerie encounters with ghosts. At the end of the show, a contest was held through voting: the one who resembles a ghost most wins! Unbelievable! Imagine how the girls' parents or friends must have felt, seeing their daughters, sisters, and friends compete for such thing?!? I must admit though, the show was at times hilarious at depicting the girls--they were asked to wear clothes associated with female ghosts, eg. red Chinese qi pao/cheongsam, schoolgirl uniform; one wore a bright red lipstick while another didn't wear one at all--and it almost shames me to say I laughed out loud quite a few times. The show's popularity stems from its originality. You should see it sometimes just for the sake of checking out.

In another related entry
Men and ghosts may live in different realms, but they certainly co-exist together. Humans fear death is the end of everything; some may say there is no life after death, some may say otherwise, but most associate death with a negative image, but is that necessarily true? Or is death a beginning of something else, something not quite like what we imagine it would be? ZhuangZi, a man who is universally regarded as the greatest Taoist after Lao Tzu, answers it best with his theory of relativity (no, not that theory of relativity). It goes like this:

"How do I know that enjoying life is not a delusion? How do I know that in hating death we are not like people who got lost in early childhood and do not know the way home? During our dream we don't know we're dreaming. We may even dream of interpreting a dream. Only on waking do we know it was a dream. You and Confucius are both dreaming, and I who say you are a dream am also a dream.

Looks like plenty of gibberish, but it certainly is something to think about. Many things in life aren't as black and white as we thought, cause there's always room for some grey area. Again, Taoists reject the idea of dichotomy, which is in my opinion, two extremes of essentially the same thing. Everything is extremely relative. If there's no beauty, there's no ugliness. Or, if there's no good, there's no evil. Sounds good to me.

Another great story of Taoism I'd like to share, the "Butterly Dream" is perhaps the most celebrated dreams ever recorded in the history of Chinese Philosophy.

The great Taoist master Chuang Tzu once dreamt that he was a butterfly fluttering here and there. In the dream he had no awareness of his individuality as a person. He was only a butterfly. Suddenly, he awoke and found himself laying there, a person once again. But then he thought to himself, "Was I before a man who dreamt about being a butterfly, or am I now a butterfly who dreams about being a man?"

After straying from man-ghost relationship (if there is one) to Taoism and plenty of dreams, I think I should stop here. Too much straying ignites headaches.

Food for thought

Last night I was reading Wangjianshuo's blog on hating doing something and hating to start doing something. Evidently, there's a lot of difference between the two. Jianshuo provided an excellent example: it's not that he hates sleeping itself; he has this initial resistant of going to bed at night as there are hundreds of reasons for being awake.

Fast forward to my current situation. However I tried setting my mind to start working on my project, I procrastinate, surfing here and there, reading magazines, and before i knew it... no work is done. But come another time when I have actually immersed myself in my work, I do enjoy it. The same is true for most things: as we contemplate doing this and that, taking art courses or volunteering for a good cause, how many of those do we eventually end up doing?

Procrastination is a common disease. Self-discipline is the key. Yeah, easy to say, darn hard to do. Nevertheless, it boils down to how one cultivate one's mind and not surrender to external pressure, or shall we say, temptations. A note to myself: Study Buddhism.

Out of the blue

Dreams are strange phenomena. Things beyond our wildest imagination. The most unusual events. Our deepest darkest desires. Somehow, when I dream, I think I control the plot (or it's my subconsciousness playing tricks on me). I have been dreaming numerous times these few months; very peculiar indeed, as I was a sound sleeper who've only had few dreams. I even sourced out library references and Internet resources to interpret those dreams, yet none produced the results I wanted.

This morning, it occured again. Two dreams, one forgotten. It's not exciting in the least. Note: some details have been altered for a more dramatic effect.

And so there I was, having a meal, in a wooden Javanese house. The house is one thing, but the characters are a whole different story. There are approximately 8-10 of us; now...get ready for this: those people are band members of a famous Indonesian band (not Dewa, but more on that later) and a popular American band; and then there was me and my friend. How we all got together was totally lost on me.

In short, I chatted with them (heh) and found out that they are on a break, so they decided to pack up and do some traveling. As of that moment, they are on their way to Tangkuban Perahu, near Bandung, Indonesia. I excused myself to go to the restroom located in a wooden shed right beside the house and was on my way, when my friend got up and followed me without my knowledge. As I bent down to do my own business, there #$%!@ (I won't name names) was, holding a videocam and ready to shoot! As soon as I closed the blinds of the tiny window hole, it ended.

I have to say, the more I type, the more unsure I am of the exact situation. Ah, dreams do fade. Now, for the analysis (I promise, won't be too long):

I've always wanted to travel to Java.

Dewa, a very popular Indonesian band, held a concert 2 weeks ago. I had considered going.

A friend of mine gave me a Tangkuban Perahu key chain last month. (thanks, I!)

The friend in my dream spoke to me recently.

See how it all tangled up?

More on dreams later.

Random act #623

I was sitting in my room, daydreaming I was kidnapped by a handsome prince, when...

RINGGGG....RINGGGG....(it actually didn't sound like that, you know, we have these cool tunes nowadays)

Me: Hello?
Unknown: 喂? 請問這是業蒨文的電話嗎? (Hello? Is this Sally Yeh's number?)
Me: (pause) Uhm...你打錯電話了. (You dialled the wrong number)

Silence...

Somehow I get the feeling the person at the other end of the line didn't believe me.

Click.

WHAT THE???
I should have pretended I was, then volunteer to autograph Sally's CDs over the mail asked her how she got my closely guarded number.

Well, just another day in my increasingly boring life.

Yahoo! Gastronomical feast

For the most part of last year I used to cook like mad. Breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, supper, and a couple snacks in between (I'm a glutton, btw), an all-round kitchen fare. It may seem like I have nothing else to do in the day besides devouring veggies and (sometimes) meat, heh.

No, no, I insist, that's not true. I have a life, remember?

From where I came, food used to be inexpensive. I mean, really cheap. And fantastic, still is. Everytime I was home, all I wanted to do was to enjoy all the city's eating establishments have to offer. I'd be sitting around the house pondering on what to have for dinner, or tagging along friends who, more often than not, didn't disappoint. Everyone's favorite pastime is checking out what's new and tasty in town, and then passing reviews or recommendations to people they bumped into along the way to another joint. I count myself lucky for growing up amidst these gastronomic delights. But again, what is with all this obsession with food, you'd ask?

Live to eat, or eat to live; that is the question. I'll have both, please. ;) Great food has an orgasmic effect on people; and at times, the content of food blogs out there even borders on the pornographic. Yours truly, for one, derives joy and pleasure simply from cooking and experimenting in the kitchen, never mind all the mess and grease. It's truly wonderful to be able to feed people and watch them consume the food you so lovingly prepared, even if it tastes like chicken poo. Excuse my language.

Food is also a conversational starter, and the company you're having your meals with is just as important. What can I say, great friends make the blandest meal bearable. Which reminds me: thanks M, for being such a good friend and a good sport!

Back to where I started, I don't cook at all these days, for the following excuses:
1. I lived in a place where prepared food was just not affordable.
2. I live in a place where the kitchen is such a sore sight for normal eyes.
3. I spend most of my time doing...not much, which, in turn, occupies my time.
4. I have a blog to update.
5. Why are you still reading??

Happy munching!

The magic word

Call me sensitive or even small-minded -neither of them bothers me- but to me, it's the magical please. Now, how can you say no to that? U uh, for the record, I'm not trying to encourage wrongful manipulation of good intentions here.

The sheer visual representation of the word alone evokes all sorts of wonderful feeling; not to mention hearing it in person, coupled with sincere, intense eye contact, the right body language and gestures, all just makes the favor even harder to resist. The effect, as we may all have experienced, was so powerful that even the most outrageous demands were OKed on a whim.

Years of unconscious and accidental observance has provided me with a curious insight of human nature. As Buddha once said, people are basically good-natured and willing to help those in need: 95% of the time people would say yes when asked for a favor nicely, if it is within their power to help and doesn't harm others. The rest of the time, either it's a bad day or they're too tired to listen.

Ok, ok, maybe that's just a theory, but at least there's some truth in that, yes? However we resent performing the favor, if we really care about the person, it's just a matter of making a few calls and running some errands, it can't be that bad, right? At the end of the day, when you land your head on the pillow, you should be able to say "I did something good today, and I'm proud of myself", however trivial it may seem. To give without asking anything in return, that is a virtue.

Slurping sound

Q. What does 'MOS' Burger mean?

A. See Japan's Seldom Asked Questions (SAQ)

via Simon

And here it is again!

I love Sundays, and I'll tell you why.

In my diminutive mind, I always regard Sunday as the last day of the week (a sentiment most people share, I reckon), which means it's when most people start getting anxious for dreading to go to work the next day; all the while at the back of my mind I always have to remind myself it's actually the 1st. The beginning.

Ignorant as I am, spending Sundays in my tiny room is heavenly. The sun, the blue sky, my dying plant, my stack of unread books, my soft fluffy pillow, the buses, the buildings and the greenery, the fog, my neighbors...oh, how thankful I am!

Alas, Sundays also mean procrastination, long naps, slow meals, lazy butt, and a plain waste of time. Pls, help me.

Foursome

Twosome & threesome, move over. Foursome is in.

Closer, Sideways, and my lovely friends. We say everything comes in pairs: here it's a pair of pairs. Where does that leave the singletons? Argh.