Oreo Delight

It's that time of the year again

2011-06-12T00:32:00.002+08:00

I have never ever imagined what it would feel like when I arrive at this day. However, I do feel that I have grown at least a bit since the last year. The funny thing with growing up and getting older is you appreciate what you have today and at the same time you wanted to go back to your high school years in some ways too. It takes a lot of years to morph into the person you are today and you wondered what it would be like if you are this version of yourself 10 years ago.

Humans keep changing, and at the same time, human nature is the same. There are parts where we are essentially still the same person 10-20 years ago, but there are parts of ourselves we keep tweaking and keep 'current'. Information learnt from daily interactions; from people; from movies; from media; from social circles; societal customs and etiquette; all of this contributed to the changing line of thoughts which directly influence how we behave, how we respond.

As for me, I am the same person 10 years ago, yet I am a different person from a year ago. I wanted to be same naive and idealistic person yet at the time I was more awkward and scared about the world then. I am more confident and as ease with my current self yet I lost some of the youthful ignorance I had years ago. Family relations have grown stronger though, friends are more or less the same bunch, with changing level of friendships now. Good thing about being older is you are more comfortable in your own skin but more selective in your view of the world, that's maybe the bad thing about being older as well. No wonder people always say we need 'fresh' perspective of things. Fresh no more, are we?

Rants aside, I am grateful for living this long and having the family and friends that I have. I hope everyone keeps a healthy mind, body, and spirit. Om mani padme hum.

Customer service nightmare

2011-05-15T00:32:00.011+08:00

I recently used a concierge service from Belgium-based Borderlinx to purchase some products from a US merchant that I could not buy with non-US credit card otherwise. The customer is provided with US and UK suite addresses and will only pay shipping fee after the packages arrive at their suite addresses. The company then ships the package to the customer's local address in his home country. I have been a loyal user of VPOST for this kind of service in the past and decided to give Borderlinx a try on recommendation from a friend who was a satisfied user.

It turned out to be a nightmare. The edge that Borderlinx has over VPOST is that the concierge service is free, and shipping is reportedly cheaper than what VPOST offers. But boy, what I thought would be a breeze turned out to be a torturous experience!

Here are why:
1. Concierge only allows you to place 4 items per order. Then you have to divide your items into separate orders. Some US merchants provide free shipping for orders over a certain amount, and you have to re-calculate which items in your order add up to that amount to take advantage of this option.
2. After I painstakingly input all the item description, price, size, URL link one by one, the website returned that the transaction had been rejected. No reason was given. I called my credit card company to check if there was anything wrong with the card, they said my card was perfectly fine. Did the data input more than 15 times before the website lets it go through. Hell #1.
3. After 3 orders had been submitted (12 items in total), I waited.
4. Two weeks passed, the package for my last order arrived at my US suite address. At this point, I was wondering why the last order arrived but not the first two. What makes it even more frustrating was, only 3 items arrived instead of 4 as what I ordered. Hell #2.
5. Borderlinx provides live customer service chat to their customers around the clock, not unlike many other corporations. I chatted with the first customer service rep, explained the situation, and was told to wait. Fine.
6. Every other day I chatted with different customer service reps, and had to explain the situation every single time. Sometimes they understood my predicament, majority of the times they didn't even understand what I wanted and transferred me to the original rep who handled my 'ticket' (log). The answer given was they would contact the concierge department and promised someone would reply within 1-2 days. No one even came close to replying, let alone giving me the answer. Hell #3. This is the source of my biggest frustration.
7. My latest dealing with the customer service department came to their agreeing to refund the items that did not arrive. After more than ONE month and I had to be the one to follow up. I sent email too, there wasn't any reply. And the refund has not come through. Hell #4.

My biggest complaint is with the concierge department, as customer is unable to directly place order with merchant, customer has to place his trust in the concierge; how and when the concierge actually places orders with the merchant is not within customer's control. This is a big risk to consider before customer places any orders. It is not that all the customer service reps are incompetent, but the working of the company as a whole; not responding to customer's repeated cry for help is just plain unacceptable, especially the concierge department.

It is unlikely I will place orders with Borderlinx again. I learned my lesson.

Sports and endorphin

2011-05-12T00:44:00.000+08:00

You take a deep breath and dunk your head in the water, you emerge after two seconds, take another breath and repeat the cycle. You do this for half a lap, one lap, and finally, 15 laps. You keep counting. All this while, how many thoughts have gone through your head? In my case, many.

There are many ideas, or some could argue, almost all ideas, which were born outside of a formal setting where the idea is seemingly more appropriate to be generated. Offices, no. That is perhaps not the most conducive of places to breed ideas. Unless, if your office is Google's complex. Bathroom, yes, kitchen, yes, outdoor playing golf, definitely. You see, in our modern daily life, we are conditioned to do multiple things at the same time. We watch TV while we eat, and at the same time, read magazines. We typed our emails and remembered something that our boss wanted us to do. The kind of life that an average office worker lead is loaded with many tasks, which required a multi-tasker to do, as is often pointed out to be a strong point during job interviews. We don't have the time to sit and think when faced with multitude of tasks around us. That decreases our ability to focus or to just sit. When the body is still, the mind is active. When you do an activity that requires your body to have a constant motion, or be still, that is when the mind wanders. The mind not only wanders, the mind imagines, the mind travels to places, the mind is communicating with another being, the mind visualizes, the mind shapes and shakes things.

Whenever I am exercising, especially sports that require repetitive actions such as pounding the legs on the street or treadmill, with noticeably fewer visual stimuli, or swimming, repeatedly swinging our arms and legs; I always never failed to have thoughts and ideas passing through my mind. It's a lot like laying on the bed before sleeping. The mind is active, the mind doesn't want to calm down. I had to take control, and started to read about meditation. I even tried meditating, but I have yet to arrive at the place where I know for real what meditation is. Give up too soon?

Does sports make your life better? I would say yes, do more sports, be active. It engages not only your body, but your mind. In cases where you require other people to play certain sports, it benefits you in the form of social contacts. These things are beneficial to our health. Endorphins are released, we get companionship and support. It enhances your stamina and ability to focus and some studies even reported, to think. You know how they say people experience runner's high where they feel a sense of euphoria engulfing their bodies, feeling the air and the body is one and the same? That will probably be my goal. If I have the mental power to torture my body for that long, that is.

On movies

2011-05-12T00:35:00.003+08:00

I recently watched a movie on a whim due to a recommendation from two friends a long time ago. In the middle of watching the movie, I was doing a lot of other stuff. My mind just would not sit and go through the entire length in one sitting. When I finished, I was baffled. It wasn't good at all, in fact, it was so, so bad. Why did my friends even recommend the movie (it's When In Rome, by the way)?

That got me thinking. Several years ago (I say several years because I cannot quantify the time when I started to think differently), I probably would've thought the movie is okay. You know how the movie review websites always have ratings that reviewers and audiences give and how sometimes both of them doesn't match at all? I thought that it would be a case like that but I find myself siding with the reviewers most of the time. Have my taste in movies change or have my ability to observe and judge a movie change? The latter is probably an indication that the rate of enjoyment I take from watching movies is less now as I don't lose myself simply just having a good time being entertained.

Of course the second reason could be because I did not watch the movie in a cinema, very rarely would my focus waver if everything around me is dark. When watching movies in the confines of your room or house there are things that distract you, or things that cross your mind that you are afraid that you will forget if you don't do it right then and there.

Regardless, as they say, movies appreciation is a personal thing, but hey, without a consensus, things won't get done anyway right? Rotten tomatoes exists to inform, educate, and maybe occasionally berate most movies it carries.

Quality. Chocolate. Squared

2011-01-03T23:32:00.000+08:00

Naive

2011-01-02T12:05:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year 2011! Happy Rabbit Year too :D

First post

2011-01-01T20:52:00.003+08:00

Doing things slowly and deliberately

2010-07-29T18:08:00.005+08:00

It's probably a better way, as I am slowly discovering. It is related to being in the moment and enjoying it. We all know and probably have read about how we are more productive when we do one thing at a time, and the results of our work are better than when we were doing multiple tasks. I used to want to do things very quickly so I can move on to other stuff, sometimes doing 3-4 things at once. Turns out, I was making more mistakes that way. Doing multiple things at one time makes us lose focus at the present task we're attending to. As a result, our work is of less quality and costs us more time to fix it. On the other hand, it takes us some time to adjust back to the 'mode' of the task, so it takes longer time to finish all of them.

When I was writing an email and suddenly remembered that I need to call someone, after the call, it's harder to get back to the emailing mode than if I were to finish the mail first then pick up the phone. However, I suppose you already know all this. Recently I've just only begun to be aware of these little actions that I'm taking that was very routine stuff for me previously. Some of these routines are like riding bicycle, stuff you do automatically once you're in the environment, like taking out trash, folding the plastic bags after putting out all your groceries, or even washing your face. I find that when we are more aware of what we are doing right _now_, we do better, thorough jobs. Like, washing our face!

Besides the obvious benefit of doing a better job, doing things slowly teaches you patience! I can only relate my own experiences in walking home with sore feet and carrying heavy groceries. Acknowledge the discomfort, and take one step at a time, eventually you'll get there. Deal with the blisters later!

The only time I can think it'll be more efficient to multi-task is when we are cooking food (boiling, mostly). Forgive me for the lack of examples.

Love the summer sky!

All the things I've done wrong and neglected to do

2010-07-28T22:30:00.004+08:00

- Eating fruits after meals
- Drinking ice water after meals
- Drinking canned fruit juices
- Drinking soda
- Not exercising
- Eating buffet til my stomach feels like bursting!

Please, hope you don't repeat my mistakes.

Well, happy new year to this place

2010-07-27T22:00:00.002+08:00

The author of this post was bitten with a bug probably most people have had, the lazy bug to update. In the past 1/2 year, things probably have taken a turn in some areas of your life. People moved, new things got added, some things were put away, your surroundings changed, your angle of life shifts, your hair got shorter / longer, and maybe some subtle lines here and there on the face, infant grows into toddler and then to this being who drives you crazy most of the time when they're not smiling. How things, people, air moved! And finally, time slips by unnoticed.

I had a chance to stay in China for a little while this year and am back in the Lion City for now. After coming back in style (rode in a ridiculously expensive taxi ride - in a Chrysler), I realized one thing: It's like I never left the place. At the same time, when I'm in China, it's like it's been home all along. I slowly have come to understand the meaning of 'being in the present moment'. I had a bad habit of thinking about the time I am about to leave the place whenever I'm going away to a new location temporarily. The thought emerges as a worry, then the next moment you find yourself in the plane thinking about the moment the thought occurs, and how it has finally happened!

Oh, the life as I know it. How would it feel to experience someone else's life? I often ponder that question. How is it that we are born and choose to lead this life of ours? People constantly strive to make things better for their life, but are their choices the right ones? I don't know. I'm completely clueless, still.

Probably the one lesson learned was how to live in the moment, and just breathe. Forget your cellphones, Blackberry, emails, for one day, and just sit, cook, play with children, talk, and walk your city. Discover living the moment!

On my draft: a little more than a year ago

2009-12-20T22:46:00.000+08:00

"I feel calm today. Some things irk me yet I learned to let go. My defense mechanism is trained over the years." - 11/24/08 7:01 pm

What happened that day?

In 2010, I wish for a better year than 2009. A better life, a better world, a fulfilling place, when I can be at peace.

May your families and mine be well and healthy, happy and prosperous, filled with joy and laughter, growing with wisdom and youth, may all beings be.

Enjoy!

From The Daily Enlightenment

2009-11-07T12:49:00.002+08:00

November 7

Sound
I asked a friend
"When a tree falls in the forest,
and no one is there to hear it,
does it make a sound?"

He replied,
"There was a sound
when I was thinking of the question."

I replied,
"I just said there is no one there to hear it,
why did you put yourself there?"

Sound is defined by the hearer,
It is the vibration of air in your ear, in your mind,
that gives rise to hearing.

Reality is "defined" by its experiencer.
Delusion is "shaped" by its experiencer.

Terrorism reporting

2008-11-30T13:20:00.002+08:00

Counterterrorism blog posted a short entry on twitter comes of age reporting on Mumbai attacks. There's also a link to a google spreadsheet of the victim's names. In the last 3 minutes, there have been about 10 more posts coming in on twitter. Article on local paper mentioned a survivor's Blackberry practically may have saved his life by connecting him to what's happening in the world outside his hotel room.

May they rest in peace.

Fleeting moments

2008-09-28T23:44:00.002+08:00

We live for those fleeting moments. The moments when we realize our lives are perfect, less than perfect, or far from perfect. The moments when there is what it is. The fleeting moments of enlightenment. There are no labels. Nobody to dictate who we are. Things exist as they are. Breathe. See. Hear. Feel. Live.

Page turner

2008-09-27T03:33:00.000+08:00

A lot of times I have ideas popping out of nowhere. Almost all are silly. The rest I completely forget. So one day, I was going to work and the idea of an ultimate lazy person's page turner started popping up in my mind.

For a person like me, who dreams to have physical book propped up directly above my eyes within a reasonable distance while lying on the bed, it would be awesome if we have an automatic page turner remote. Prop your book up on a stand, it would have to be a flexible stand to be fixed on your bed or table, or any location you like. Now we have a remote, with buttons to control it, I'm visualizing something like my iMac remote. It would have << for page back, >> for page forward, pause button to bookmark page, << + hold for 3 secs to go back to previous chapter, >> 3 secs for the next chapter, number pad to key in approximate page number if you happen to take out your book on a train ride, pause again to store your new bookmark.

Ultimately, the remote would be smart enough to remember multiple bookmarks, like an e-book reader program. But keeping it simple is also key. I truly believe this is not novel idea. Hm, where can I get a piece?

I'm an idiot

2008-09-21T03:27:00.000+08:00

It's 3 am. (WARNING: non-Mac or even Mac users, below is gibberish)

About two hours ago, I did something REALLY stupid. Dumb. It involved tweaking my 10-month-old Mac, that required me to change the System property file to the previous version (before Leopard came along). So I did. At the end of the process, I tried to change it back to its original version, luck wasn't on my side, the TextEdit failed me. So I figure, what the heck, I'll just restart anyway. Restarted. Basically it rendered my computer useless. Heartburn. The following is very computer geek oriented, be warned...

Reboots. TextEdit fails. Can't change the version back to the original. Computer is useless. Almost no application can run. Everything requires Leopard. Heart starts to burn.

Firefox fails. Can't get online help.
Safari fails. Can't get online help.
Adium fails. Can't get online help.
Mail fails. Can't get any help.
Text Editor fails. Counting on Microsoft Word.

I'm out of ideas.

Panic panic panic.

Friend with the same version of Apple is out. Can't copy file.
While still hoping copying the same file from the friend's computer will work tomorrow, tried plugging in my flash drive. Failed. Machine won't read.

Panic panic panic.

Get other app's property file. Changed the content in Word. Saved as file name. Copied to folder. FAILED. Word changed the file type to word document, which the file isn't.

Panic panic panic.

Tried 20 times to re-write the original file. Version1, Version2, Version3. Failed. File type just won't change. All applications are useless. Mac OS version is still different.

Extremely frustrated.

Thinking of reformatting the whole thing.

After a 2 hour ordeal, flicks eye to "Time Machine Backup" backup drive.

Time machine saved my Mac's infant life, and me from a zombie. A simple clicks and I found the backup file. Copy to folder. Restart. Works immediately. Everything back to normal. I can breathe. And realization hits. Idiot. Why didn't I think of that two hours before???

Time machine rules.

Microsoft Word came out a hero this time. Nothing works except for Office & Finder. I could open the content of file and write the whole thing. Although in the end, Mac's restriction on file type is the real issue, Word still emerges as a reliable help.

At times like this, the restrictions of the system created for the benefit of the user can fire back. I was rendered powerless.

Doh.

Bekele almost makes me cry

2008-08-23T20:28:00.004+08:00

Throughout the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, and throughout the major competitions, it is often the sprinters, the 100m/200m runners, 100m/200m swimmers, that were talked about mostly. Commentators often shout out their names near the finish, papers often print their pictures more than others, highlighting their achievements. And my gosh, these are great athletes, amazing Olympians. Who could forget Phelps, or Bolt, the two reigning sprinters in their respective sports; swimming, and track & field.

But tonight, Bekele is the first athlete in T&F that makes me shake my head in disbelief and stare at the tube box in wonder. Most long distance athletes are little known. Marathon runners, 1500m swimmer, 20 km fast walk, 10 km run. I am guessing, perhaps we could attribute this to the short attention span of the viewers in modern days. I have to admit, I can't sit in front of TV through 3 hours for the marathon (I still can't understand how human being can do that). However, I am lucky enough to catch Kenenisa Bekele's 5000m final today. What a delight, what a great run from him! To think that Bekele just won 10000m a few nights ago, this almost makes me cry.

So it's 16 laps. He started off nicely, leading the others and gesturing his brother and fellow Ethiopian to follow him at the head of the pack. While brother Tariku and mate Cherkos eventually dropped off their pace, he remained consistent from start to finish without showing any great difficulty. During the last lap, Kenenisa quickened his pace (still!) and claimed Gold for Ethiopia, edging out number 2 by 5 seconds. What an excellent runner! Most runners who led in the beginning would've tired during their last laps from the lactic acid in their muscle. When that happens, usually it's ugly. Hopes are crushed, especially seeing the athletes behind you go past during that last crucial moments (plenty of those happening). Kenenisa Bekele emerged the champion and didn't even stop to take a breath after finishing. Beautiful!!!

Without playing down all the excellent athletes in the Olympics, all hail the long distance athletes! BRAVO. The mental strength they have is absolutely brilliant. Olympics never cease to inspire us of the human spirit, the ability to push our bodies to the extreme and never giving up.

I LOVE THE OLYMPICS. Simply beautiful.

Seven years of preparation will be over in two weeks, ending tomorrow. Let me go back and silently wait for the next four years. :(

Life in Technicolor

2008-07-16T21:15:00.004+08:00

A distant update

2008-07-04T23:39:00.004+08:00

Oh, I am probably the worst disciplinarian. I have abandoned 365 and this place too long. Something a friend said the other night makes me think about the evolution of our world view as we grow older. Sad to say mine grow worse. Even writing this line makes me depressed.

It's hard to get out of the 'me, me, and me' world like a good friend pointed out very clearly. We care about ourselves too much to sometimes get out of it. SNAP! Wake up! The world doesn't revolve around you.

Recently finished "The Shadow of the Wind" by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. It's probably one of the most stylish prose I've read in recent years. It is dark, mysterious, dramatic, yet the mood is occasionally broken with great humor. The translated English version is that good. I can't imagine how the original Spanish prose would be like. This, is entertainment.

Don Federico lived with his deaf octogenarian mother, known in the neighborhood as "La Pepita," who was famous for letting off hurricane-force wind capable of stuning the sparrows on her balcony and sending them spiraling down to the ground.

On the topic of 365, dry spell has hit and lasted for more than a month now. Ergh.

China Earthquake: Camaraderie

2008-05-19T20:19:00.016+08:00

Today is the first of the three-day mourning for the China Earthquake victims...In a show of camaraderie, media websites and newspapers in China came together and all of them published their sites / papers in black and white. I know some Chinese nationals who are very patriotic and loyal to the country but this is something that has never been seen before. I am amazed and touched by their spirit of togetherness in this difficult time. China even allows Japanese rescue workers in. Placing the lives of others before one's needs, or in this case, the country's political interests, should be a lesson for Myanmar. If Myanmar junta continues being stubborn and does not allow rescue aids to enter the country, soon they will have no country to run. What's the purpose?

Water and sand

2008-05-19T16:58:00.002+08:00

That's what I smell and feel these two days. The heat in the afternoon made me reminisce being on the edge of island, the sun at its most powerful, with the ocean waves crashing to the shore, the shrieks of children in the distance and adults sunbathing and lazily enjoying their fictions. Now where is that glass of pina colada I ordered?

Heat and humidity notwithstanding, this is the best time for napping. Oh the glorious sun! The strays of lights...blinding when you are outside, but naturally lighting your room to its best shade. I can never live without it. Sweat from the after-nap is tolerable because of the refreshment to our soul. To me, a nap is not just a nap, to nap is to enjoy all the wonders of the world. Smell the freshness of your pillow, feel the softness of your bed, breathe the unpolluted air while it still lasts, curl up on your bed, read your magazines until the purring fan and the afternoon music lulls you to sleep...it's the best feeling in the world.

Enjoy!

May all beings be happy!

2008-05-19T16:31:00.002+08:00

It's Vesak Day again. Let me wish you happiness and may all beings be happy too! Perhaps we should all consider, it's time to up our game on supporting the cause for vegetarianism.

Albert Einstein said, "Nothing will benefit human health and increase chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to be a vegetarian diet." Gandhi also once said, "The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." There is one important precept, as old as history itself, that hasn't changed since. Confucius, Lao Tzu, Buddha all preached it. Hinduism taught it. Jesus summed it in single most important rule in the world: 'Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.'

We all want to be loved, want to be treated fairly and just. The pronoun 'we' here are beings, and is not intended solely for humans. We don't want to be put into a machine and sliced with blades. Or crammed into spaces with no breathing air with our fellow humans. Or skinned alive..you get the idea.

Let us stop and think about the food on our plate next time.

Just like last year, I wish I could be at Borobudur today. I shall withstand the heat and humidity (Singapore is SO hot and humid this week!) to watch the procession. But alas, I have just visited the place a few months ago. Patience, is something I lack these days.

May all beings be happy and free of suffering!

"I have nothing to say and I am saying it"

2008-05-02T22:05:00.003+08:00

4'33" is perhaps the most radical music composition I have ever encountered. It's John Cage's most famous piece and the most controversial. It sounds to me like an art, which music pretty much is to begin with. Perhaps using your environment to create music makes the most perfect sense of all. It is a canvas and a mirror. The center piece is not the object we think it is, it is us.

One funny thing is in the interlude, all sorts of cough sounds from the audience suddenly came up, it's like they're suppressing it for the effect of the composition.

From Wiki:

4′33″ (Four minutes, thirty-three seconds) is a three-movement composition by American avant-garde composer John Cage (1912–1992). It was composed in 1952 for any instrument (or combination of instruments), and the score instructs the performer not to play the instrument during the entire duration of the piece. Although commonly perceived as "four minutes thirty-three seconds of silence", the piece actually consists of the sounds of the environment that the listeners hear while it is performed. Over the years, 4′33″ became Cage's most famous and most controversial composition.

Conceived in 1948, while Cage was working on Sonatas and Interludes, 4′33″ was for Cage the epitome of aleatoric music and of his idea that any sounds constitute, or may constitute, music. It was also a reflection of the influence of Zen Buddhism[citation needed], which Cage studied since the late 1940s. In a 1982 interview, and on numerous other occasions, Cage has stated that 4′33″ is, in his opinion, his most important work.

Can you live 24 hours without gadgets?

2008-05-02T20:12:00.004+08:00

Tomorrow is Shutdown Day. Although the premise is about a day without computer, I'd like to think of the day without any sort of electronic gadgets. I can't participate, although I'd love to join the excitement. Being excited about a day without computer, iPods, digital cameras, cellphones???? Yes! Remember my Nyepi post? Perhaps another day, I'd like to experience that.

Can you last? Let's go unplugged!

Week of April 12-19

2008-04-19T18:27:00.010+08:00

The foundation of things

The intricacies of our mind

Rustic Nirvana

A transition

Feelings

Illusions

Apartments on fire

Another world

The power of no Internet

2008-04-12T21:15:00.001+08:00

It didn't last very long. But for four days I was "off the grid". I was not on vacation. But I was free. I was not sucked to the dangerous world of Internet. Because I had no other choice, I was spending my time doing something else that is more beneficial to my well-being, like reading in the comfort of my room. It was a great feeling. If you read my posts, you would know I am the kind of person who would appreciate this kind of thing. Like Nyepi day in Bali for example.

Or, perhaps not, I would probably get bored by the second 15 minutes. I would bang my head to the glass windows or throw things to any strangers who pass by, had it not for my careful restraint that I practice for years.

Nonetheless, luckily I didn't have an entire day to muck around without the far-reaching claws of the universe, so I did really enjoy the time off. The computer is a strange thing, it has an almost mystical power and effect on me. I instantly got sucked to its power like ants to sugar.

Alright, alright, it's crap. It's the choices that we made, blah, blah, blah...

Anyway, I haven't posted for a while. I skipped two days since the inception of my 365 project (so not proud of it) and most of the time I took bad pictures. But here goes April 6,7,8,9,11:

Previous world

Ah

10 minutes

Cartons and Bulbs

James Brown

April 1 - 5, 2008

2008-04-05T22:54:00.007+08:00

First instinct

@_@

Say What?

Kind of a Bore

YOU! Yes, YOU! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

Seven days

2008-03-31T21:01:00.005+08:00

Today

Yesterday

Saturday

Friday

Thursday

Wednesday

Three things

2008-03-31T19:58:00.003+08:00

Purple, gold, blue, gray, yellow, red, turquoise. Mmmmmm... I tried shielding my eyes from the buildings beneath it and just stood there. My favorite spot. And I'm transported back to Balinese coast at Uluwatu, and King's Canyon during the sunset. This is the only place I could see the big patch of sky and the hues of twilight. Sometimes when it's really dark I could see the faint stars during cloudless nights.

The father was riding a bicycle. The daughter sits quietly behind. He pushed a little more energy into his pedal, on the small slope up. Then they continue, towards their destination. I remembered the times when I was behind my father in his old big Honda motorcycle. He is small, but he has the strength the push and ride that beautiful old machine for 20 years every single day.

Ants Marching, playing repeatedly. The sound of the music reaches my eardrum. My fingers moved, to the melody of the guitar and drums. Brilliant composition. Beautiful song, one of the best.

Three things that touch me tonight, on a simple narrow path.

When technology marries luxury

2008-03-25T23:59:00.005+08:00

A friend showed me this today (not mine). The question was: If the other half drops off (the bling bling part), what happens? Why don't Philips and Swarovski put the bling on the other half? Either way, one wouldn't be complete without the other. Say it! One, two, three: "Awwwwwwww!"

Fight outta you

2008-03-24T23:42:00.003+08:00

I was listening to Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals' song "Fight outta you".

There's always someone younger, someone with more hunger, don't let them take the fight outta you
They'll say you're the one and only
Then straight up leave you lonely, don't let them take the fight outta you
Like a transplant-patient waiting for a donor, don't let them take the fight outta you
Like a half empty balloon after a party in the corner, don't let them take the fight outta you

Be strong, friend.

2008-03-23T20:48:00.004+08:00

Today

Yesterday

Friday

Falling back to old routine

2008-03-20T22:44:00.001+08:00

I ruined it!

2008-03-19T22:51:00.000+08:00

Now I can't quite figure out how to assemble it back.

Shamrock or Holy Trinity?

2008-03-18T22:23:00.002+08:00

Today is the day I finished the Harry Potter series. Extremely late, I know, even by the standard of casual Harry readers. I can see these books being the Roald Dahl's books of 21st century. I can see the books being reprinted and read for many generations to come. Books are being spun out of it during this moment. Merchandises produced, movie rights secured. It's all a snowball which will provide for JK Rowling and family for a long long time!!

Anyway, imagine yourself as a struggling mom, envisioning these characters, and actually finishing the book after years, getting a publisher, til today, when you are the richest woman in the country, and one of the most successful writers of the world. How satisfying it must be! Well done, Ms. Rowling.

In the name of the thing that flies

2008-03-17T16:13:00.005+08:00

The bad good vs. the good good

2008-03-16T23:08:00.005+08:00

What merits a person to deem one thing bad when the person has never grown up to see bad all their life? That statement is a contradiction in itself. In the plane of existence, good and bad don't exist. It's polarizing, created by humans with our idealistic notions and our needs to hold on to something we call faith. Faith created good, and faith also created bad. Back to the real world, I always had the argument with myself about the good good and the bad good. You see, the bad good is the good that emerged out of bad. The good good is the one that has never seen bad. Okay, so far, this is all gobbledygook. Let's take an example. What I meant is, take a person who has ventured to be what our society deemed bad, taking drugs, running away, petty theft, and doing countless other 'bad' things you can think of. Later in life, this person changed. Something snapped, and then they turn to be good. Now that they are good, they are more in tune with the bad deeds in their past. They realized how dangerous it was, how hurtful their conducts were. They strive harder to be good, they strive harder for their children to not to grow up being their replicas. On the other side, there's another person who was raised in a good environment all their life, had great education, worked a decent job, provided for their children well. This person has not so much seen real violence as only in televisions, has not smoked once in their life, has not ventured anywhere past the shady dark alleyway at night. Is this a dangerous to live life too? Unequipped with knowledge and workings of the 'other' side of the world, the person would never be prepared to deal with it. It's not all black and white, of course. What would be the middle way, I ask?

A journal, part deux

2008-03-16T16:45:00.002+08:00

21:59. I'm in the soul of Indonesia, the ancient city of Yogyakarta. Hm. Yogyakarta that I have seen so far is a quiet small town in Central Java where people are more relaxed and friendlier than where I came from. The streets are dead quiet after 7. So I got to town after 2.30 and headed straight to Prambanan temple compounds on a taxi whose driver keep badgering me into paying an expensive fare for the ride back. I figured I'd take my chances and figure something out. And word of caution to Indonesians: bring your ID. Yours truly was silly enough to fork out USD10 for entry fee when local Indonesians could get in for less than USD1. Lucky for me, a guide noticed and helped me save that 9 bucks. Naturally, I bought his service.

So we took a walk around the beautiful Hindu monuments, majestic candi that stood there for almost 12 centuries now. The ruins, the temples resemble those of Angkor Wat in Cambodia, typical in its tall and pointed architecture. The compound is home to many Candis; there's Candi Shiva the Destroyer, Candi Vishu the Keeper, Candi Brahma the Creator, Candi Nandi the Bull, Candi Garuda (undergoing reconstructed due to the very damaging 2006 Java earthquake), and Candi Sewu 1 km from the main temples. Some say the temples are even more beautiful than that of its Buddhist neighbor, Borobudur. I think these two are not comparable, beautiful in their own rights. The skies were not forgiving during this period, it soon looked like a heavy storm was going to hit anytime. So I quickly took some pictures and tried in vain to protect my camera when it finally hit. I was soaked by the time I got to Candi Sewu. The tourists all went back but I didn't see a lot of them anyway. I pretty much had the temples to myself that afternoon. The damage I've done to the camera? Oh well, let's just say it's still working. However, as the guide's story goes, the villages around Yogyakarta were all destroyed, people were left homeless as the result of the quake.
After two years, they were just beginning to rebuild their lives again. We were allowed to go and touch the temples before during my first trip, but today, I was circling and admiring the temples outside a wired fence. Things are just too fragile. Perhaps they should do this in Angkor Wat too before the overwhelming tourists do any further damages.

I began to ask the guide how I was supposed to go back to town as the complex is 18 km east of the city. I got the details, buses I should change to, the guide to walk me to the bus stop when he spotted his friend who works as a driver for a local tour agent. Finally, things work out just fine! As I waited for his passengers, I sat on one of the many roadside stalls catering to the returning passengers having a cup of hot tea that is just out of this world and watching the rain. It was just lovely. On the way back, I got to know two Indonesians living in the US, and a French-Canadian who's in the middle of his 6-month-long Asian trips. We arranged for a dinner meet-up at ViaVia Cafe, a hip local cafe south of Kraton and had a blast talking through the evening.

--
It felt so good to enjoy a cup of the wonderful fragrant hot tea and your breakfast reading your newspapers. That's how I started the morning, then I was off to walk along the famous Malioboro street. It's still very early, the street sellers were still setting up their stalls, the becak drivers parking their vehicles and waiting for passengers. As I walked, the stuff they sell were repeatedly the same: Dagadu T-shirts with funny words that made them famous, beads, wayangs, paintings, wooden ornaments. If you bargain hard enough, you'll get plenty of stuff for close to nothing here. On one flanking one side of Kraton, you can see the imposing and well-preserved Bank Indonesia building, the reminder of colonial times that is perhaps lost of many locals and myself included, of the legacy the Dutch has left us, simply because it has always been there all these years when my generation were growing up. There was apparently a pasar malam, complete with bianglala (ferris wheel) and toy stalls set up on the lawn in front of Kraton Yogyakarta. It was not the most prettiest sight to be greeted with when you were intending to lavish in the grandeur of the sultan's palace. Speaking of which, the Kraton wasn't what I imagined it to be. Instead of tall majestic whitewashed buildings you see in other parts of the world, the Kraton is comprised of small structures scattered within a compound, complete with ceremonial halls, performance halls, sultan's residence, museums.

The guide showed me the various colorful costumes royal family and the royal soldiers don in ceremonies. To this date, the many Abdi Dalem or the palace servants who work voluntarily without pay out of loyalty to the sultan still live in in the palace compounds and the surrounding. They are elderly Javanese who are able to tell autobiographical stories and, as I stood close to one giving a lengthy explanation on the emblem of the kraton to a group of foreign tourists in a hall, who still speak what I guessed was Dutch language. The abdi dalem wears aviator sunglasses which I now realize is a favorite of many men(including Soeharto)! We walked past ceremonial halls where kings, princes, and princesses were crowned, where annual ceremonies are held. The kraton is old, no doubt, and it emits a kind of quietness that resembles a kampung (village), albeit one of royal stature. A walk just outside the kraton walls found me stopping at the Museum Kereta (Royal vehicle museum). The collection of sultan's horse carriages is staggering. It started from Sultan Hamengkubuwono IV to the IX, the most revered of all and the current sultan's father, most of the carriages were made-to-order in Holland and carried the part manufacturer's symbols still. Some were even so lavish they were made with plated gold! All carriages have their own names and are used til this date in certain ceremonies. The condition of the museum and its unused horse stables are in need of touch-up, but then one might say that would take away its old grandeur and what had once been there.

I followed the sound of music to the other side of kraton, to the performance hall where the gamelan ensemble performers practice every Tuesday. They are made up of almost all elderly people.The sound of gamelan and the many accompanying instruments are very soothing, very old, very...Javanese. As I watched the visitors come and go, the music pieces changed, I believe the Javanese is a peaceful society, as reflected by their love of music, their artistry, their culture, their boundless creativity. It's part of their life, art is not distinguished as "art" to them, it's simply part of who they are. Just directly outside the performance hall, I found an arca, the exact replica of the ones I saw in Candi Sewu! Maybe these arca served the same purpose as the lion statues guarding the palaces and office buildings in Chinese cities.

When it's time to go, a becak driver kept walking alongside me to offer his service at reduced rate so he could bring me to places that would give him commission. I rejected his offer but asked him to take me to alun-alun kidul (the south square) where the twin banyan trees stand amidst a patch of green. Legend has it that if you could walk blindfolded past the banyan trees, good luck will come your way. I decided I could use a little luck and it wouldn't hurt to try. The becak driver gave me his intructions. He would follow me and make sure I was out of harm's way but he was not allowed to speak or direct me in any way. Okay, ready. So I closed my eyes, concentrated, and started walking. After about a minute or so, he told me to stop, and there I was, standing in between the banyan trees. I've made it!! He later told me he has tried hundreds of times and never succeeded. And to know that I did it on my first try felt really good! He asked me to try three times. So I did. But clouded by my excitement or greediness perhaps, I made a half-moon diversion to the left and to the right the second and third time. Total failure. Haha!

After a tremendously satisfying lunch of nasi goreng and jasmine tea, I departed for Candi Borobudur. As it's rainy season, I was hard-pressed to find a tour agent that was willing to take one passenger to the monument. So I waited what seemed like hours but only a good 25 minutes under the scorching sun for a public bus to Terminal Jombor, then changed bus to Borobudur. This was perhaps the first time I took a public bus in Indonesia for many many years! Squeezed in a seat half the width of those inside public bus here, I sat next to an old lady who was on her way to one of the small towns along the way. The ride took a good 1.5 hours because they kept stopping anywhere to pick up passengers. I forgot how the public bus ride in the country was until that day. It was a good reminder. Anyway, the wind was strong as we closed in on Borobudur's entrance and the sky was greyish blue. Please, don't rain. I said to myself. I was about to enter the place I have been wanting to visit for the past few years. The greatest Buddhist monument in the world. I clearly didn't want rain to start pouring.

I walked a few minutes before I finally caught glimpse of the familiar pyramid-like structure. Happiness! The Borobudur of my childhood and the Borobudur of my adult-life feels different. It was smaller, I thought, than the last time I saw it. I circled the monument for a while, then slowly made my way up to the empty main stupa. Along the walls on the different levels encircling the Candi to the main stupa, the bas reliefs tell the story from the birth of Buddha and his journey to enlightenment. On that day, a group of students from Jakarta were visiting as well. I squirmed at the way they sat and put their feet up the stupas while laughing at each other's jokes. Some tourists from Japan were climbing down inside of a exposed stupa until a speaker announcement kept them away. I remember when I was 5, I was told that if my hand could reach the navel of the Buddha statues seated inside the stupas, I will have good luck in my life (again - these stories of luck are everywhere!). I still had that picture of the five-year-old me trying vainlessly to reach the navel by extending my hand inside the stupa's diamond-shaped holes. The more realistic me today didn't even try, the navel was pretty far in from the hole. I met the two ladies again, which I had hoped for. They were on their way back from a hike to Pegunungan Dieng and stopped for a tour of Borobudur in sunset. I hitched a ride with them back to the city. We left before the sun set, and as we drove away from the place, the golden hues of the sun were reflected on the side of the temple facing the west. It was such a beautiful sight and would have made a great capture had I stayed. Nonetheless, I count myself lucky to be able to catch that sight in the afternoon without rain.

The evening was spent watching Ramayana ballet. The reason they termed it ballet was confusing, since there was no actual ballet performed. The Hindu epic tells the story of Rama, trying to save his devoted wife Sita, who was abducted by the demon king Ravana, that culminated in the battle of Lanka. The dancers executed their movements flawlessly, every twist and turn of the wrist and leg is carefully choreographed. The movements of the eye, the fight scene, the jumps, the actual fire, are all very well-executed, leaving a long applause at the end of the show. I was the only Indonesian that night, doing the tourist thing in my own country, and even the usher was surprised, as there were virtually no locals attending the shows. But who would miss a performance like this, under the starry rainless night?

Yogyakarta that I saw embodies the spirit of the old Indonesia, the new Indonesia, the spiritual Indonesia, the peaceful Indonesia, and the creative Indonesia. The smiles of the becak driver, the kindness of the usher, the laid-back atmosphere of the city, the strength of their faith, all bear their marks on my memory of the city that is Yogyakarta.

More pictures here.

Another perfect day

2008-03-15T23:06:00.002+08:00

Specks of white

2008-03-14T22:20:00.004+08:00

I remember my mom's pics in the 1970s. They are grainy, washed out, some stained beyond repair because they are stacked together throughout the years. But they never are boring. My mind are remembering the images as I write. Imagining how they looked like, I am filled with nostalgy. Though I didn't exist then, I was transported back to that era. How it might look like, how it might feel like, how people of that time dressed, how my parents lived. What was cool then? What would I do if I lived then? How would I see my parents, in their adult life, but decades younger?

I am not even sure those images are in the 1970s, or earlier, or later. All I remembered now was the picture of my mom in her younger self, staring at me, posing for the camera. Still. No smiles were seen. People don't really smile in those old pictures. I wondered.

The silent way

2008-03-13T22:40:00.003+08:00

Imagine the day, where no one steps out of the house, when all lights are off, no computer, no TV, no radio, no sound of motorcycles, buses, taxis, when shops are all closed, airport is halted and beaches are deserted. All daily activities you can think of, stop. Silence. Almost total silence surrounds you. All that's left is nature's voices, the sounds of dogs barking, birds chirping, water running in the stream, mechanical clock ticking. Oh no, this is not doomsday, no I am Legend, or Resident Evil scenarios here. This is 21st century Bali, this is Nyepi. Day of Silence. A day to contemplate and reflect on yourself. To stop, and think.

Picture yourself living this day in your city. Hoards of people and vehicles overpowering the streets are gone. Apartments stand as if their residents abandoned them. The polluting sound produced when your subway train streaks across the city, stops. Constant chatter in your local neighborhood cafe turns into silence. All electrical plugs in your house are off. Picture ourselves living this day, in our cities. From the morning, since you wake up, stop, and contemplate. It's almost like meditation on the outside, only we got to find a way to switch off our brain chatter.

Balinese have observed Nyepi for centuries and the tradition is still going strong today. All I can say is: Is this Heaven?!

Floaters

2008-03-12T22:43:00.001+08:00

Stacks

2008-03-11T21:53:00.002+08:00

It represents an idea. The thing we cling on. The very thing that makes people excited. More often than not, if "most of the time" is too much, people fell in love with an "idea" more than actual execution. You are excited about the month-long trip you have been planning for a year. You imagine how wonderful it would be to quit something you've been stuck on and be free, free to roam the world, free to do whatever you want, whenever you want. You fell in love with the idea of being in love more than the person. You keep buying books you think you will read sometime in the future and let it gather dust. You never throw your old stuff, thinking it might come useful still somehow. We cling to our ideas. Ideas become our goals, our measurement for achievement. We become attached to it. So attached, in other words, we came to have such a high expectation that when we are actually "living" our ideas or achieve what we set out to do, it does not taste as sweet as when you stumbled upon it.

Ideas. Without them we have no hope, with them we are miserable. Sound familiar?

Wither

2008-03-10T21:56:00.001+08:00

Mr. Bell was on

2008-03-09T21:39:00.003+08:00

Remember that brilliant scrawny kid on Billy Elliot? He's all grown up! First there was King Kong, then there's Jumper. It reminds me of how years have passed without me noticing...and I had to watch child stars grow up. Painful!

Afternoon light and love of travel

2008-03-08T23:21:00.005+08:00

I love afternoon light. It's always shining the brightest before the sun finally disappears into darkness, and the intensity of the heat lends a very different feel, almost otherworldly. It makes me think about life. It makes me realize I should be grateful of the life I have. There's a saying in Chinese, 夕陽無限好，只是近黃昏。Although the sun's beauty is limitless, it's nearing dusk. The more optimistic version and the one I like is 雖然近黃昏，夕陽無限好。Although the sun's nearing dusk and disappearing, its beauty is still limitless. Tomorrow, the sun will rise again, ever more beautiful, ever more bright.

I went to the movies yesterday. I came back more impressed with an ad I saw while waiting for it to start than by the movie. It's almost perfect until I see that it's from Louis Vuitton. Well, nothing against the brand, I just didn't expect that. I love the images, I especially love the music! So here:

1950s

2008-03-06T23:18:00.001+08:00

I am starting to have some fun

2008-03-05T20:41:00.002+08:00

This is the part of a place where I pretty much walk by most of the days and yet I never see it. The guys look very busy indeed. Singapore is raining pretty much every day. Storm, grey, blue, cloud, fog, blind. I feel the ground is vibrating with each heartbeat.

Steely determination is a quality for all ages

2008-03-04T21:58:00.003+08:00

I achieved a new milestone today! It feels good to get rid of your shadow sometimes.

When it turns red

2008-03-03T23:33:00.001+08:00

Selflessness

2008-03-02T23:06:00.003+08:00

Is it really possible?

Sometimes when I think of people who are selfless and what they would do for me or for the others, I cringe. I cringe because I would always come to my own self-reflection. Other people's actions reflect on our own inactions. I don't know how to live a life that is selfless.

Different times

2008-03-01T23:57:00.000+08:00

First structure of its kind.

A journal, the first three days

2008-03-01T17:31:00.022+08:00

I dreaded it. But I was looking forward to it. I haven't had much luck with transportation for the past few trips overseas. And so when the text message came telling me the airport was closed, I just wished I could make it after all. Jakarta is one humongous city, and the pace of development just so far exceeded the available infrastructure over the years. Highways were flooded. People's houses were flooded during the Lunar New Year season. I arrived in the capital in the dead of the early morning, relieved I actually made it there. A few hours later, I had my first great meal, a simple Indonesian breakfast of rice and a few dishes I grew up with. It was a great feeling to be tasting your old memories and still find the experience is as good as your memories. You know the times when you had the chance to relive your greatest memories and find them not as good as the original? This isn't one of those times. It's not quite the same, but it's enough to make a happy morning.

Killing my time in a mall, I made the spontaneous decision to have a haircut then. Customer service here in the country is as great as I had always expected. It is way better than any other place I have been. You feel the sincerity. Now I may be biased, but I think people are friendly, courteous, generous with their smiles and they don't give the customers any 'looks'. Take the lady at the reception, she got up, smiled, said "Selamat pagi" as soon as she saw me, gave good answers to my questions and showed me to my seat. It's very simple, and it only lasted a couple minutes. But here I am, writing a paragraph out of this. Not many in the customer service business get this simple thing right. Getting the basics right is what we overlook the most in pursuit of a fancy finish.

Tired as hell, I took the 2-hour car ride to the city of Bandung. I had my share of fortunate and unfortunate transportation-related experiences during this trip, but the car ride was my first fortunate one. Locals know what to expect of the notorious traffic in and out of Jakarta. Yet my ride was smooth and I was pretty grateful for that. So, there I was, in Bandung. The city is the most artistic city in the country. You can feel the creative vibe almost everywhere and the cafe scene simply tops the list. From durian ice cream, wickedly delicious Sundanese food enjoyed within a "kampung"-like (village) stretch of land, to the ubiquitous factory outlets and elite education institute, Bandung is the city that almost had it all, had it not its high-altitude mountain-locked location and for its giant neighbor Jakarta. Jakartans show up here during weekends, pack the streets and the very nice cafes and restaurants. Maybe people think if they are going to spend two hours being held up in the traffic in Jakarta, they might as well spend that time in Bandung.

The city used to be nicknamed Parijs van Java for its European style hotels, boutiques, restaurants, and buildings. Well, I didn't see much of these structures but this time around, I actually visited 'Paris van Java', a much talked-about compound of hip cafes, boutiques, and stores. True enough, I can see why the young likes to frequent this place. It's hip, alright. In just 5 minutes, I walked past about 10 cafes that made me want to go inside and order something each time. Good thing I resisted, I still had some shopping to do.

Factory outlet is a huge business here as Bandung is the center of the garment import-export business in Indonesia. Certain streets in the city such as Jalan Riau, Jalan Dago or Jalan Setiabudi are lined with factory outlets of different shapes and structures (some museum-like, some with a huge A-shaped entrance) to lure you in. The stuff weren't actually very cheap or particularly nice, but if you look long enough, you might find some good quality bargains.

The next day found me on the top of Mount Tangkuban Perahu, almost blown away and into the crater with exposed belly by the massive wind. It wasn't a good sight! But it was fun. I learned about how the mountain was formed back in school a long time ago, so when you actually visited a place you've heard or known in the back of your mind so many times, it's sort of a good moment. Legend has it that the "Upturned Boat" mountain was the product of Sangkuriang's wrath after finding out he missed the deadline to build a large boat before sunrise so he could marry his own mother, Dayang Sumbi. Of course, one would think this tale of almost-incest disaster could be prevented with Dayang Sumbi telling her son that he is not supposed to marry his own mother. One can also argue how good a story will be if truth comes out so easily?

From Tangkuban Perahu, you have a panoramic view of the city and the valleys surrounding you. The fog hangs atop the crater all the while we were there, so the only option left is for us to seek out a seemingly Thai-influenced (seemingly, because I can't be sure) vihara on the way down Lembang. Next stop is The Peak, a restaurant among a complex of villas overlooking the valleys and mountains surrounding Bandung. I imagined myself waking up in the morning and looking out vast greeneries and villages when we drove past one of the beautiful villas. The view is almost worth the price! Food-wise, we decided the Peak may be too plain and so headed down to "Sapu Lidi" (broom of split coconut midrib)! The restaurant has a slogan: "Makan di tengah sawah" (Eat in the middle of paddy field). Truth is, there's no paddy fields. Instead, I sat down in a thatched roof hut, cross-legged on the floor, ate like a peasant and had the best meal! This concept of restaurant "tables" that are actually a compound of huts has now caught up, and it's working out pretty well.

Oh, I had a real good time in Bandung!

More pictures:

Baryshnikov in White Nights 1985

2008-03-01T17:21:00.002+08:00

Wow! This is the most powerful modern dance I've seen for a long long time. And listen to that beautiful music!! I first saw Baryshnikov in Sex and the City and he's one heck of a sexy Russian then. To see him of 23 years ago actually dancing on stage, is something else entirely.

Bravo. Such perfection, such power, such intensity, such passion, and such ease.

Do look at his Don Quixote and other classical ballet performances. No wonder he is one of the greatest dancers of our century.

The big sway

2008-02-29T23:57:00.001+08:00

This happens every 28 years I heard!!

Life is food!

2008-02-28T22:46:00.000+08:00

Food seems to be the topic these days.

In and Out

2008-02-27T23:54:00.000+08:00

Penny Black

2008-02-26T21:26:00.003+08:00

Walking with your eyes closed

2008-02-25T22:46:00.004+08:00

Have you tried walking 30 steps with your eyes closed? The moment your eyes close, your most important sense shut down. You "see" with the other four senses. You hear, you smell, you touch, you feel your surroundings. And you start to walk. You feel a little fear, but that's alright. Now it's time for the first step. Your leg takes the first swing, light, your body's momentum shift to your airy feet, it came down as soon as your other leg lifts up. Okay, you thought to yourself, this is not so bad. Second step, third step, you think to yourself you will hit something right then and there. You took a few more steps, uncertainties grew. One more step, you feel almost helpless now. Fear of hitting something makes you slow down tremendously. You pause. And again. You ponder hard, whether to carry on. You are strong, so you continue to take slower and shorter steps. You pause each time. Cautious. You felt the urge to open your eyes, but you can't. You have to do this. Okay, three more, two more, and one more step. It's over. You open your eyes.

Walking with your eyes closed is like living through life with one thing you think you can't live without. But life is life, it continues with or without you. At the end of your run, hopefully you gain something in return of the thing you lost. But that's okay.

Coulda Woulda Shoulda

2008-02-24T20:01:00.002+08:00

Chingay 2008

2008-02-23T22:55:00.006+08:00

A dad said to his daughter, "Today, it's Chingay Parade, it is the Chinese New Year parade. It's held every year. We didn't see it last week, so today they are bringing Chingay Parade here!" I have never seen Chingay Parade. To think that I have been in Singapore for quite some time, I haven't seen or done a lot of things in Singapore. Shame!

From Wiki:

The Chingay Parade (Chinese: 妆艺大游行; pinyin: Zhuāngyì Dàyóuxíng) is an annual street parade held in Singapore as part of Chinese New Year festivities. The term Chingay itself originated in Southeast Asia, particularly in Penang, Malaysia, which is a phonetic equivalent of the Chinese words "妆艺", which means "a decorated miniature stage" or float. Today, the parade has evolved into a massive multi-cultural and international event telecast live on television every year.

People started lining up on the streets half an hour before the start of the event, not just streets, but also open air car park building across the street. Parents brought their kids, their parents, their brothers and sisters, photographers walked around with huge long serious-looking cameras that's everywhere these days, and me with my unawareness of the parade everybody seemed to love. I don't have expectations, I guess this is the exciting part.

So it started with a couple of dances, then a few technical glitch (the songs stopped in the middle of the dances), and a minister and his wife who shook my hand came out to say a few words. Then it's the parade. The Merlion head. The Japanese ladies. The futuristic looking but incomprehensible float. The ship. My alma mater float. I remember each house of residence in my old school always had amazing float and dances each year. It's pretty short, and it's great. The boy with the comic book didn't seem to care much. He's too absorbed in his book.

I saw a cool kid

2008-02-23T21:45:00.003+08:00

I saw a cool kid today. She must be around 5 or 6 years old. She was wearing an army cap, cool red snickers, sleeveless polo, slinging a Billabong bag, and listening to her iPod. And I thought, "Wow! This kid is cool!". Immediately I turned to see who's with her, her mom must be cool too to dress a kid like that and give her iPod at such a young age. She's okay. My mind brought me back to the image of myself when I was 5 or 6, so not that cool kid. So, I saw a cool kid today. It makes me smile.

Here she is.

Being compassionate

2008-02-22T23:11:00.008+08:00

For some, it's just part of them, naturally. Others take years to develop. Have a good weekend.

The 15th

2008-02-21T22:37:00.002+08:00

Great expectations

2008-02-20T23:26:00.002+08:00

Time. I really wish I could have more.

Question is: where do you want to be?

2008-02-19T23:13:00.000+08:00

A little perspective would be good

2008-02-18T22:18:00.000+08:00

One of the many addictions

2008-02-17T21:18:00.003+08:00

It's probably safe to say that most of us, my generation, are addicted to the Internet to some extent. Why? It's instant, and mostly free. It used to be that we had to go to library to find reference books, pick up the phone to book tickets, buy the papers for our daily dose of news, and a lot of other things. Of course, that all changed in the early 1990s. Internet, or its predecessor has been around for years by then, but only really picked up in the end of 80s. I remembered my disbelief when a classmate told me that I could get weather prediction, and be connected to people from around the world via this cool new technology they called 'Internet'. I didn't believe it was possible then. Such is the mind of a 13 year old. I soon found myself doing exactly that in a few years' time. Internet boomed faster than a supersonic jet.

Today, I spend a very unhealthy amount of time in front of my desktop. I switch it on when I got home. Dare I say it...I can't live without it here. On the occasions and days when I'm without it though, I feel those days and minutes are very well-spent.

Probably should get myself off Internet soon!

P.S.: Found these three people sitting next to each other on subway, all on iPods and all napping at the same time. These days, the chances are higher than you think.

Another dry day

2008-02-16T23:45:00.003+08:00

I'm going out of my mind.

The 9th

2008-02-15T23:24:00.000+08:00

Love, love, love

2008-02-14T21:02:00.002+08:00

Recovering from a lull

2008-02-13T19:13:00.003+08:00

I haven't snapped out of it.

I was looking at a TV screen the other day, Denzel Washington, the much-praised actor was saying a quote that stuck with me: "You gotta do what you had to do, so you can do what you want to do." Simple, universal truth!

Spring

2008-02-12T23:26:00.000+08:00

The trees, in their full glory.

I am back from my holiday! It feels strange to be back, it seems like I have been away for a very long time. Things don't change that much but the change is in how I see them. Anyway, happy spring festival!

2008-02-02T00:12:00.001+08:00

I am still stranded at the airport. Apparently bad, bad weather had to hit earlier, and what followed is a string of unfortunate events. It has been such long hours. I'm tired.

Another new year

2008-01-31T21:18:00.000+08:00

I'm off to more than a week-long holiday. I will stop posting for a while and I hope to catch up when I'm back. Here I am wishing you a great lunar new year and a fantastic rat year ahead. To infinity and beyond!

Death by sushi

2008-01-30T23:13:00.000+08:00

Perched on top of the lifeless block of wood for too long a time, P finally decided to take charge and never let anyone control its life again. P crawled on its two-clawed toes. Hours passed by. It grew tired, thirsty, and hungry. It began to think "Was this a mistake?". Its newfound sense of freedom grew more and more insecure. Just when P decided to give up and head back to its comfortable life, it saw those red specks. The specks grew larger as P approached closer. Then P's eyes opened up wide in wonder at the sight of those amazing round plates. It has been years. OH! How P longed for those delicious forms! The feel of that succulent juice in its mouth. Those green-tinted substance that made P's eyes filled with tears and wanted to beg for mercy. At last! P enjoyed the happiest moment of its life for exactly 3 minutes and 14 seconds. Then it passed out and never woke up again.

Drawing and Painting Google

2008-01-29T23:42:00.000+08:00

I ranted about my own misfortune with Google and how it has surprised me months ago. Yet there's one thing Google consistently do well which made me remain their fan despite that incident: their creativity. Check out Google's logo for Lego's 50th anniversary (soon to appear on this page). Thanks, Kiran for pointing it out. I love love love love Google Doodles and holiday logos, especially their April Fool's brilliance. :D

Freaky Fries at 2

2008-01-28T21:06:00.000+08:00

There is this small cafe that occupied the center of a medium-sized compound near my neighborhood. I walk past the sight of it every single day and I had thought about going in but that never happened for the longest time. So the other day I was on my way somewhere else, for some reason I turned my head to the right and spotted a picture. As soon as I took a picture, I noticed the cafe and thought to myself, maybe today is the day. So my legs took me there. Sometimes I think my legs are faster than my head. I found a seat next to the window amidst the European style-furnitures, sat down, ordered the most wonderful hot chocolate, got my books out and had a jolly good time. Can't believe I missed that experience for years. The place is literally a few steps away from my front door. That led me to think if I just ventured two steps further out of my ordinary path, I might just discover something great. Places we pass by, people we said hi and bye to. The world just got interesting again.

Ten years since

2008-01-27T23:26:00.000+08:00

I received the news that Soeharto, second President of Indonesia, the infamous long-time dictator (so the media says) who ruled the archipelago for 32 years, died this afternoon. In 4 months, it will already be 10 years since the riot that changed the country forever. My mind immediately recalled that night. Etched into my memory are the two scenes of that silent evening. I was in my parents' bedroom and my father came in and looked for something solid that could be used as weapon of defense. The neighbors had convened earlier and the men of the family would go out at the back of the alley and waited out with the rest, including all of us. The only thing we could use was a long wooden bat resembling a baseball bat, I had no idea how it was in the house, it was always...there. Then we were all gathered in the back alley. The alley was sealed from both sides, it was where the rear of houses from two parallel streets meet. And we waited just in case the crowd made their way to the neighborhood. Rumors ran amok earlier during the day, parts of the city had seen looting and houses destroyed. The unspoken fear occupied our minds and hearts during those moments of wait. Waiting, I learned, is worse than execution.

Nothing happened. We were relieved. I can't remember the rest. If anything else, those days were probably the few days after the students took to the streets and shouted "Reformasi!" (Indonesian word for reform) repeatedly, demanding to oust Soeharto. Much more horrible things happened (a Wiki entry of the riot is short, but it tells everything). People lost their houses, livelihood, and most importantly they lost their wives, daughters, fathers, and their loved ones.

The currency dipped lower since and never got back to the same level. Our economy suffered. Today, the woes the country faced after numerous changes of presidents and parliaments are never quite resolved. Is this the reform we were fighting for?

Soeharto was probably one of the most corrupt leaders of any nation. His family benefited from his power and capacity of being president in office. Thirty-two years of accumulated nation's wealth, that's some fortune, I imagine. He was never tried, citing health reasons each time he's supposed to appear in court. Investigation stopped after years of going nowhere. These years, he resided in his house most of the time, rarely making any public appearances. The man just faded away. I didn't think much of him actually. But I do remember during his years of being in office, we enjoyed a relatively stable economy and peaceful life. Even though he did a lot of things to get to where he was, I did not resent him. The man is gone. The very symbol of cronyism and corruption. Yet his legacy of corruption and graft lived on and still spreading rampantly like wildfire.

"I am your Father Luke!"

2008-01-26T23:35:00.000+08:00

A series

2008-01-25T22:29:00.000+08:00

I'm using pictures to compensate for the lack of words.

One of these days

2008-01-24T21:54:00.000+08:00

We live our lives each day, often not paying much attention to our surroundings and what's in front of our eyes. For some reason, today I noticed reds all around me. Everywhere I turn my head, red becomes apparent, it's there on my calendar, on my keys, on my shirt, on the pictures, it's everywhere! I suppose if we concentrate hard enough, our vision will be cleared just like the scene in the opening of the movie when the fog drifts away and we see the magical kingdom, our mind will slowly be unblocked, clearing the path for the "one", and everything else falls into place to help us reach it. Maybe this is what meditation is like?

Early morning

2008-01-24T21:41:00.000+08:00

Got my new toy today

2008-01-23T21:35:00.000+08:00

I know it's a bit thick-skinned to show off material belonging like this. But I just got a new toy today!! I have yet to test it outside, looking forward to roughing it up a bit. I have to say, converting to Mac is not without its frustration, but I hope the days will get better. Thank you, you!!

Living the red life

2008-01-22T22:37:00.000+08:00

The season is here again! People are buying wall decorations lined with "Prosperity" word that will be hung upside down. Or phrases that probably mean may all riches come to this house. I see seas of red in the bazaar the other day. Chinese loves red. Red means so many things; passion, blood, luck. It's a color of celebration, and that, we always do. Here is one of the famous lao po bing store in the area. I have not tried the one from the store though...if you have, you would know how it would get stuck in your mouth!

Alas! Such is life

2008-01-21T21:13:00.000+08:00

Many many years ago...

2008-01-20T21:35:00.000+08:00

It's starting in 15

2008-01-19T23:10:00.000+08:00

Welcome to the state

2008-01-18T19:11:00.000+08:00

25

2008-01-17T21:53:00.000+08:00

The place still retains its old charms, although I cannot vouch for it since I wasn't there when it was new. Red windows, seats, wooden signs, old paintings. It's the essential old in the midst of new. At lunch, you see men with suits and ladies with heels cramped around its premises, taking a respite from busy day at work to chit chat and joke with one another.

What's the deal?

2008-01-16T21:31:00.000+08:00

Why are babies named, January, April, May, June, July, August but rarely March, September and not February, October, November, and December?

Juno

2008-01-15T22:02:00.000+08:00

So I saw "Juno". What a great movie! Good story, great acting, funny lines, and amazing soundtrack. In fact, during the opening sequence, as soon as I heard the soundtrack, I knew this is going to be a good movie. And it didn't disappoint. At the end of it, I feel the world is sweet and I am optimistic towards life. Okay, so it's a feel-good movie.

What made a great song is most of the part, great lyrics. Here are two of the featured songs and my favorites: the actors Michael Cera and Ellen Page's version of "Anyone Else But You" (lyrics here) and Kimya Dawson's "Loose Lips" (lyrics here).

So if you wanna burn yourself
Remember that I LOVE YOU
And if you wanna cut yourself
Remember that I LOVE YOU
And if you wanna kill yourself
Remember that I LOVE YOU
Call me up before you're dead
We can make some plans instead
Send me an IM, I'll be your friend

Looks like the clouds aren't moving anywhere else soon.

2008-01-14T20:11:00.000+08:00

Project 365

2008-01-13T22:39:00.000+08:00

I'm doing a project that I read on Photojojo the other day as part of new things to do this year. Take a picture every single day, for a year. Didn't read it before new year came so started on January 9, 2008. Decided not to label it 365 (although it's 366 this year) anymore since you, my dear readers, are the ones who will keep me going. These few months are the rainy season in the region, so if you plan to travel to South-East Asia during January or February, come prepared. There might be floods if you're traveling long distance by road (take Indonesia for example). One good thing is, the weather is cooler though.

The art of consumerism

2008-01-12T22:04:00.000+08:00

Most of us are all slaves to consumerism. Most of us actually don't mind and succumbed to it. Some procure things that are necessities of life, some take it to the extreme (I am talking about, of course, things like diamond bras, 150-inch TVs, or 5-year handbag wait list). Oh, things that we sacrifice our time and money for. When we say value, were we simply referring to the priority of things for our survival or the price tag of the goods? How much is enough?

As producers of goods/services through our jobs and as consumers, how do we balance our want of consumerism? Was the satisfaction worth it? How long will it last? Will I still like it two months from now? Was that 200-dollar meal really that great? Do I just have to buy it or I'll lose sleep over it?

Worth...is so relative it boggles the mind. We tend to justify every thing we do / purchase as "worth" it somehow. What is worth?

P.S.: This uncle works every single day of the year, I have never seen him off his little stool at any time of the day, be it 6 am or 11 pm. Makes me think twice if I want to complain next time!

Day 3

2008-01-11T22:45:00.000+08:00

KIASI
(kee-ah-see)
Hokkien term literally meaning, "afraid of death". Used to admonish someone for being cowardly. "Raining only, cannot go out, meh? Why you so kiasi one?"
(from talkingcock.com)

It is rainy day.

Isn't she pretty?

2008-01-10T23:33:00.000+08:00

Saw this on my walk today...part of an advertisement for "Halibur-Liver Oil With Viosterol" in front of a noodle shop. Pretty Chinese lady, wonder if the painter modeled her after someone?

Duh!

2008-01-09T22:08:00.000+08:00

Ever had the feeling that you completely missed out on something that has been right in front of you for years? Then one day, we found out that it's too late to go back or silently cursed out "Why didn't I know this before? Duh!". For years, you are aware of its existence, you pass by one building every single day on your way back to home, or you know this person as an acquaintance for a long time. One day, something sparked in your head that made you want to explore around. You go in the store and find out it has the exact thing that you've been wanting to find for a long time. A voracious reader walks by a nondescript building but didn't realize it has a bookstore inside. Or you live by a building that offers a multiple array of interesting courses that you could have signed up years ago. Or you got to know a person really well, and realized you've been missing on years of great relationship with that person when you were acquaintance. They say, we don't treasure things until they're gone. Sad fact is, if realization hit when they're thisclose to being gone, then you scramble.

Duh!

Superstition

2008-01-07T23:40:00.000+08:00

Do you believe in ghost stories?

Do you believe in the other worlds?

Suffice it to say, it is generally agreed that someone who believes that touching a locket she has since childhood brings good luck is superstitious. In modern times, people were labeled as superstitious as if their belief is something idiosyncratic. It's a concept familiar to that one person but makes the others uncomfortable or unsure how to deal with. It makes the word "superstitious" sound dirty. I guess everyone has their own beliefs, and everyone is subject to superstition in that case. What makes believing in the other worlds different than our beliefs in our gods? Perhaps this is just another kind of supernatural forces.

People are always unsure how to deal with different concepts than the familiar, different realities than the ones their eyes see. We call them 'radical' sometimes. But they are more or less matters of perspective I suppose. Yet I am unable to tear myself away from the world views that I grow up with and look at ghost stories differently. I still have a long way to go...

One hundred

2008-01-05T23:41:00.000+08:00

Today I've reached a new milestone. This is my 100th post. I know, to many people this is not something new, because everyone of them passes this moment at one point. To me, it's something I did not expect to see until a few days ago when the number crept up to the nineties. So it's a happy occasion and I hope to see the next 100.

Anyway, to continue on the last post, the thing about us adults is as we grow older, we lost capability to look at the same things anew every time. We are no longer, for the lack of better word, fresh. I remember a long time ago we were electing a new president for a club, and the person who got elected delivered a speech saying she can bring a new, fresh perspective on how to run the club. It's the same in the corporate world, a new person is seen as being able to bring new changes, to come up with different and presumably, better ways of doing things. And I suppose it's the same with us adults. Children ask the most surprising questions, and reply us with the most honest and creative answers. They are fun to be around, because we are attracted to their freshness. We like to be delighted by their innovativeness, straightforwardness, and their bright-eyed curiosity of the world because we no longer have those qualities.

Now new people on a job may be fresh, but like fruits and vegetables, freshness doesn't last long. In most aspects of life, be it friendships, marriages, careers, people eventually settle and form a habit. It's so very easy to get trapped into assuming we have figured out all our environment and there's nothing left to be explored. It's a tough challenge to look at your friends and think to yourself that perhaps what you have formed in your mind, the "idea" of this particular friend, may not be true at all. That's why people find it easy to open up to complete stranger and talk about their darkest secrets, aspects of their lives that their closest friends or family don't know about. Our friends and family have made up an "idea" of us just like we have made of them and we do not want to jeopardize those "ideas" of us we project consciously or unconsciously.

The same extends to our family and career. I suppose we will never "get" something as a whole. Our assumption of ourselves and our environment makes us resistant to changes and prone to denials. There will always be gaps left unexplored, rooms we overlook. If you look at things differently each time, sometimes the result might disappoint you, sometimes it might delight you, and a lot of times it might surprise you. It's tough, yet I couldn't help but wonder, what if we do that? Would it be tiring? Yes. Would it be overwhelming? Probably. Would it generate more questions? Most definitely. Would it be fun? Let's find out. The kids don't seem to have a problem having fun with it.